Allow me to let you all in on a little secret.

I'm not perfect.  ...All the time.


Last night I was testing a recipe for the ladies of book club tonight, and it was a big fucking flop.  Somehow I managed to find myself completely out of my element.

In case you're not following, the stars were not aligned for me last night.

What was I trying to make?  Something simple.  And DUMB.  Homemade pizza rolls.  Except I thought I'd go and try to make junk food nutritional and delicious.  Sometimes, you just have to leave shit (literally) well enough alone.

Like pizza rolls, for example.  The fact that they're homemade and not from a box with the name Totino's on it already makes them infinitely better.  They don't need multi-grain pizza dough.  Or sauteed spinach.  Or herbed ricotta.

No, no, no.  They're meant to be made using the empty calories of white flour.  And processed meat called pepperoni.  And cheese that's called mozzarella, but is the consistency of monterey jack (how does that even make sense?).

Now, on the other hand, The Stallion's creation wasn't too shabby.  He did a recreation of one of the best pizzas on the planet and used leftover flank steak, gorgonzola, mozz, and rosemary in his.  WAY more flavorful.  I still have a bunch of tomato sauce left, and we used that for dipping.

Yes, homemade pizza rolls with homemade tomato sauce.

How domestic.

The reason I'm so bummed about this was because I thought I was coming up with something really great.  Because The Stallion has been excited since Monday at the promise of pizza rolls (seriously - it's all he's been talking about).  Because there's pressure to perform when you're a food blogger bringing food to a party.



Don't let me fool you.  This post may have started out with a lot of bitching and moaning, but it is not a story of defeat.  It is a story of redemption.  Salvation.

I got right back on the horse this morning with the breakfast you see above.  It's a breakfast pizza.  Or an open-faced breakfast sandwich.  I used the multi-grain pizza dough to make a mini pizza.

First, let's get things straight.  I didn't set out this morning to redeem myself.  Or to make this.  But, as it turns out, our bread was moldy.  And I thought I smelled toast just before I walked into the house, so I was set on having some bread with my eggs.  All I had was the pizza dough, the wheels started turning, and this breakfast baby was born.

It's funny.  It has almost all of the same flavors that I put into those pizza rolls last night.  But it was infinitely better.  That multi-grain pizza dough - that stuff's the bomb diggity, man.

The second part of my redemption?  Well, that's where you come in.  I need something to take to book club tonight that the ladies will love.  The catch?  I've only got about 45 minutes to whip it up.

Please help me.

If you're sitting there, scratching your head, wondering why I was 'walking into my house' and smelling toast (probably just a waft from our trash can) prior to breakfast this morning, allow me to explain.  I'm going to Austin this weekend to celebrate a dear friend's bachelorette.  It just so happens that she and all her friends are gorgeous, skinny little things.  It also just so happens that I didn't go running every morning on the beach during my wedding and honeymoon.  It also just so happens that I have a lot of stuff going on in the evenings this week and I'm losing my desire to work out after work, anyway.  SO, it just so happens that I've been going to the 5:45 am classes at Fusion, my second love, this week.

Yes, mom.  I'm getting myself out of bed at 5:30 in the morning.  

And yes, world, I give in to pressures of our society.


  1. Rusti is making bacon wrapped scallops. so take it easy on yourself, someone else went gourmet this time! Just don't bring a half bag of Stacy's pita chips and some hummus. i got dibs on that and don't need to be overshadowed by someone showing up with a full bag...

  2. Haha! I think I'll bring a sweet to balance. You know, something familiar to get my self-esteem back up.


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